I love this. It makes me think of something I heard last week about “telling the truth in love.” Truth and love can feel like tension, even though they aren’t essentially conflicting. Some are temperamentally wired to sacrifice truth for harmony and conflict avoidance. Others tell the truth for the purpose of being right or dominating rather than enlightening the other. Both of these tendencies put ourselves at the center and won’t do. We need the beautiful truth!
I love that reframe. "Telling the truth in love" is a great way of defining the beautiful truth! And I like the way you framed the two toxic sides of the coin, conflict avoidance vs domination or ego-driven truth telling. Thank you.
Jeff, this is such a rich and insightful piece, and perspective. I really love being taken on an emotional journey by an author and offered meaning, and wisdom that moves into me and that I won’t then be able to live without. It’s like being permanently changed for the good. All because the author - you in this case - took the time to share and I took the time to read. A huge thank you. Many of my future conversations will be different as a result of your contribution. 🙏🙏🙏
Loved this piece and the distinction of a beautiful truth. I also think in a moment of tension there are MANY truths to tell so that’s a choice available to us on which one we choose to speak about?
As someone that’s struggled with being fat/being labeled fat her whole life I can relate. When I ask a close friend am I fat what I really want to hear is that I matter just as much as the thin person next to me. So it’s the choice we make of listening in and then saying the truth that really matters (in my opinion).
Thanks Perzen! I like how you're pointing to social cues, which at times can be really hard to navigate. It's like, what is this person really asking me? What truth she is really asking about? In your example, it may be about worth and perhaps beauty rather than the surface-level question.
This whole piece is a beautiful truth, Jeff. I am grateful to read it and to be reminded of the important distinction between a brutal truth and a beautiful truth. Thank you.
I hope you didn't mind my tie-dye flourish (ha) and appreciate the lessons you facilitated, which I continue to internalize a decade later. I'm eternally grateful for your impact, Sam, which continues to ripple.
...above all else...tell the truth!..this is beautiful though Jeff, and appreciate that you saw and found this path...as I read this the beautiful truth is yourself, all the warts and flowers within, while the brutal truth is instead without, the observational outside held within...not sure if that was intention but my mind's portal regardless...
First, I love this life experience that brought you to feel the difference between beautiful and brutal truth. I see that truth vein in you, and can't think of a better motivation to refine its expression than what it models for your son. Go dad. Your son is lucky.
I love this. It makes me think of something I heard last week about “telling the truth in love.” Truth and love can feel like tension, even though they aren’t essentially conflicting. Some are temperamentally wired to sacrifice truth for harmony and conflict avoidance. Others tell the truth for the purpose of being right or dominating rather than enlightening the other. Both of these tendencies put ourselves at the center and won’t do. We need the beautiful truth!
I love that reframe. "Telling the truth in love" is a great way of defining the beautiful truth! And I like the way you framed the two toxic sides of the coin, conflict avoidance vs domination or ego-driven truth telling. Thank you.
It's amazing how trends--laughable at one point--become fashionable and cool at another point....
Jeff, this is such a rich and insightful piece, and perspective. I really love being taken on an emotional journey by an author and offered meaning, and wisdom that moves into me and that I won’t then be able to live without. It’s like being permanently changed for the good. All because the author - you in this case - took the time to share and I took the time to read. A huge thank you. Many of my future conversations will be different as a result of your contribution. 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you James 🤝
Loved this piece and the distinction of a beautiful truth. I also think in a moment of tension there are MANY truths to tell so that’s a choice available to us on which one we choose to speak about?
As someone that’s struggled with being fat/being labeled fat her whole life I can relate. When I ask a close friend am I fat what I really want to hear is that I matter just as much as the thin person next to me. So it’s the choice we make of listening in and then saying the truth that really matters (in my opinion).
Thanks Perzen! I like how you're pointing to social cues, which at times can be really hard to navigate. It's like, what is this person really asking me? What truth she is really asking about? In your example, it may be about worth and perhaps beauty rather than the surface-level question.
I took a deep breath re the tie-die comment (remembering how my "MC Hammer pants" activated some bits of squirrel-ish laughter).
Those pants are on-trend now. I hope you kept them!
This whole piece is a beautiful truth, Jeff. I am grateful to read it and to be reminded of the important distinction between a brutal truth and a beautiful truth. Thank you.
I hope you didn't mind my tie-dye flourish (ha) and appreciate the lessons you facilitated, which I continue to internalize a decade later. I'm eternally grateful for your impact, Sam, which continues to ripple.
...above all else...tell the truth!..this is beautiful though Jeff, and appreciate that you saw and found this path...as I read this the beautiful truth is yourself, all the warts and flowers within, while the brutal truth is instead without, the observational outside held within...not sure if that was intention but my mind's portal regardless...
First, I love this life experience that brought you to feel the difference between beautiful and brutal truth. I see that truth vein in you, and can't think of a better motivation to refine its expression than what it models for your son. Go dad. Your son is lucky.
Thanks Rick!