Jeff Giesea
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Rajeev Ram: Masculinity, MMA, and gay matchmaking from rural Tennessee
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Rajeev Ram: Masculinity, MMA, and gay matchmaking from rural Tennessee

Tamil-Tennessee fusionism in the house

On today’s episode, I talk with

about his life in rural Tennessee, where he practices MMA with the bros on the one hand and works with a gay matchmaker to find a partner on the other. Quite the combo, right?

We talk about navigating male spaces as a gay guy, fellowship and mentorship, intergenerational dynamics, and building a life in a rural area as a well-educated, 29-year-old man of South Asian descent. I obviously probe how matchmaking is working out for him; inquiring minds want to know.

Rajeev is a new friend I met through Substack. He publishes the Cactus Brahmin Testimonials and co-hosts a podcast called The Overton Window. Rajeev is a graduate of the University of Chicago and grew up in the American Southwest. He also offers coaching.

Many of the late Millennials I’ve met are reinventing not just work but how they live. Covid and housing prices have pushed them into rural areas, where they are forging a new kind of American dream. This theme came up in my conversation with

. I see Rajeev very much in this vein. We cover a range of interesting topics, so definitely listen!

We discuss

  • Living in Rural Areas and Finding Community

  • MMA: Developing Groundedness and Confidence

  • Navigating Male Spaces as a Gay Man

  • The Importance of Male Fellowship and Mentorship

  • Authenticity and Belonging

  • The Power of Vulnerability and Sharing Personal Experiences

  • Finding Your Tribe and Building a Network of Advisors

  • Initiation Rituals and Rites of Passage

  • Reconstructing Spaces for Male Fellowship

  • Envisioning a Future: Rajeev's Vision for Family and Creativity

  • Supporting Millennials: Leading by Example and Sharing Experiences

  • Setting Boundaries and Managing Time: Navigating the Challenges of Intergenerational Collaboration

Some quotes

"I've enjoyed a lot more of the congeniality and especially here in the South. There's this sense of slowness and grace."

"We're trying to find a way to incorporate intellectual life into a setting that feels more wholesome and connected."

"There's no amount of money, security, status or accomplishments that will prepare you to take the leap of faith to move a rural area."

"You wanna deal with Bruce the Bear from HR, who facilitates and has your back."

"Hugs are good, but that's not really what men are looking for."

"Health, nourishment, and belonging. I can exist in the world as I am."

"I want to have some creative aspect of my life where I continue to make my own bone broth and kombucha and sell it, or encourage guys to make art online and things like that."

"I think being out there myself and trying to be honest with my own successes and struggles and story."

"I do think you're right that, in a sense, you're a guy who's been involved in right-wing politics before, but you know how to set your own boundaries, and now you're a dad. There is a sense in which I feel like people who are right-leaning or right-friendly, especially if they're gay, here's a model of someone who has at least, whether or not you could follow this exact pathway, he's doing this thing."

A few of Rajeev’s posts to check out

Other links

an AI-generated image of a Tamil-Tennessee country gentleman, provided by Rajeev

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Jeff Giesea
Conversations with Jeff
Jeff Giesea engages interesting people on the forefront of politics, work, culture, and life. Join us for wide-ranging explorations of topics, and level up your world.