On today’s episode, I talk with
about his life in rural Tennessee, where he practices MMA with the bros on the one hand and works with a gay matchmaker to find a partner on the other. Quite the combo, right?We talk about navigating male spaces as a gay guy, fellowship and mentorship, intergenerational dynamics, and building a life in a rural area as a well-educated, 29-year-old man of South Asian descent. I obviously probe how matchmaking is working out for him; inquiring minds want to know.
Rajeev is a new friend I met through Substack. He publishes the Cactus Brahmin Testimonials and co-hosts a podcast called The Overton Window. Rajeev is a graduate of the University of Chicago and grew up in the American Southwest. He also offers coaching.
Many of the late Millennials I’ve met are reinventing not just work but how they live. Covid and housing prices have pushed them into rural areas, where they are forging a new kind of American dream. This theme came up in my conversation with
. I see Rajeev very much in this vein. We cover a range of interesting topics, so definitely listen!We discuss
Living in Rural Areas and Finding Community
MMA: Developing Groundedness and Confidence
Navigating Male Spaces as a Gay Man
The Importance of Male Fellowship and Mentorship
Authenticity and Belonging
The Power of Vulnerability and Sharing Personal Experiences
Finding Your Tribe and Building a Network of Advisors
Initiation Rituals and Rites of Passage
Reconstructing Spaces for Male Fellowship
Envisioning a Future: Rajeev's Vision for Family and Creativity
Supporting Millennials: Leading by Example and Sharing Experiences
Setting Boundaries and Managing Time: Navigating the Challenges of Intergenerational Collaboration
Some quotes
"I've enjoyed a lot more of the congeniality and especially here in the South. There's this sense of slowness and grace."
"We're trying to find a way to incorporate intellectual life into a setting that feels more wholesome and connected."
"There's no amount of money, security, status or accomplishments that will prepare you to take the leap of faith to move a rural area."
"You wanna deal with Bruce the Bear from HR, who facilitates and has your back."
"Hugs are good, but that's not really what men are looking for."
"Health, nourishment, and belonging. I can exist in the world as I am."
"I want to have some creative aspect of my life where I continue to make my own bone broth and kombucha and sell it, or encourage guys to make art online and things like that."
"I think being out there myself and trying to be honest with my own successes and struggles and story."
"I do think you're right that, in a sense, you're a guy who's been involved in right-wing politics before, but you know how to set your own boundaries, and now you're a dad. There is a sense in which I feel like people who are right-leaning or right-friendly, especially if they're gay, here's a model of someone who has at least, whether or not you could follow this exact pathway, he's doing this thing."
A few of Rajeev’s posts to check out
Other links
Bree’s video, Intimacy and integrity in emergence
Rajeev Ram: Masculinity, MMA, and gay matchmaking from rural Tennessee